Our dear Cathy

I met Cathy shortly after I met Mike.  She was all of 5 years old.  She and her mom and dad and little brother John were living in Forest City.  She was cute and perky and had started kindergarten.  Next she came with her mom and dad to our wedding all dressed up.  What a cutie. My sister wrote “ I remember her when she was a child.  At your and Mike's wedding reception at the house, Jane asked if I'd give her and Cathy a tour of the basement, which I did.  I was impressed with Cathy - a bright, pretty, charming six-year-old, almost elfin-fairylike, lots of potential.”

When she was 11 our Gretchen was born.  And two years later our Andy.  Our families gathered together usually twice a year.  She was a helpful cousin with Gretchen and Andy.

Somewhere in her late teens she was acquainted with alcohol.  I don’t know how or why.

  The distance between our families expanded first geographically and then emotionally when her parents’ divorced.  During her late teen years, she gave birth to the perfect Nick.  We were able to attend her wedding to Todd and Nick’s baptism in Northwood. My memory is that Todd was in the service or joined.  And then the jolt that he completed suicide.  I can only imagine what that did to Cathy’s life.

We next heard of her relationship with Mike and the births of two more perfect babies, Zach and Micah.  Alcohol continued to be a presence.

We saw each other, on the occasions of weddings and two family reunions.  Cathy came usually with her dad and sometimes one of her children.  I remember her at the Wisconsin Last reunion and then again at the one at Loon Lake.  She was such a worker…and pitched right in with dishes and organized freezing all the extra sweet corn we had. 

 I noticed at that reunion her gait was different and learned she had a hip replacement at a really young age because of her hip displacement at birth.

When we moved to Mason City, we got to see Cathy more often.  Often it was with her dad and sometimes Zach and Micah …I remember eating at Papa’s! Zach and Micah were texting before I knew what it was!  Early on she and John came for Christmas Eve dinner. 

I remember her ache when she visited Nick in eastern Iowa.

Louann shared how she and Cathy would work with the confirmands during the confirmation years.  Marcy also shared working with Cathy and the youth.

We (Mike and I) saw her dad about 10 days before his death and he shared that Cathy had suddenly quit her job at Principal.  She got a job at a vet clinic and lost it within the week.

I sat with her and John when he was in ER.  By chance I happened to be at the hospital chatting with Cathy in the waiting room when John coded.

I know she drank through her dad’s death and the next year.  She was placed at Good Shepherd.

This is from Deb the music therapist at Good Shepherd.  “Cathy was one of my favorites in memory care at Good Shepherd. Love to see her smile and sing.”

 

On Cathy's bulletin board is a picture of Cathy and Uncle Mike dancing at the Christmas party.  Deb instigated that and played the organ. I think it was Rockin Round the Christmas Tree!

I know she was diagnosed with alcohol induced dementia.  I don’t discount that, but I do wonder if given her age she was experiencing early onset dementia that caused her to quit or lose her job at Principal.  She certainly then turned to alcohol to numb the pain.

I have heard of alcoholism in the family and I am now hearing about dementia in some of the cousins.  I don’t know if it is provable, but alcoholism and dementia certainly seem to follow in families.